"Just because pajamas are not specifically listed among the prohibited items of clothing in the office dress code, that does not mean they are appropriate office attire."
No, I am not kidding.
If you can't swim with the big sharks, stay out of the bloody water!
MEMO TO THE FAMILY DOG & CAT:
1. When I say move, it means go someplace else. It does not mean switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food. All other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note: placing a paw print in the middle of my dinner does not stake your claim on it, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in any way.)
3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. Locate your inner beast and remember that sleeping animals can actually curl up in a ball. So, it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
5. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
6. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom alone. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it won't help to claw, whine, meow, bite the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. (Trust me, I have been using the bathroom for years.. Canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)
7. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to make a sudden leap onto my stomach and drop a chew toy, bone or jingle ball on my crotch, no matter how much that makes other family members laugh.
8. Dog: Don't think for a minute that making a sad face and whimpering pathetically will get you out of trouble when I find a puddle of pee on the carpet. The face and the whimpering only validate that you knew it was wrong when you did it.
9. Cat: My sitting down to bite into a juicy sandwich is not a signal for you to begin gagging loudly and then hocking up the most disgusting hairball in history.
10. Dog and Cat: The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself. I cannot stress this enough.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door.
Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and complain about our pets:
1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me, it's is an adopted child who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to train, usually come when called, don't ask for money, never drive your car, don't hang out with losers, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. And if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
The abbot of the temple in Mission, east of Vancouver, handed a cheque for 500,000 Canadian dollars (US $405,000, £219,000) to the Canadian Red Cross.Working for Change has an extensive list of organizations that are collecting donations for the tsunami victims.
Abbot Thick Nguyen Thao told the congregation on New Year's Day that he wanted to donate the proceeds from the sale to tsunami relief.
"When the abbot made his announcement, a lot of people dropped their jaws, but after a day went by everybody began supporting him wholeheartedly," temple board member Vi Liet Nguyen told the Vancouver Sun.
The abbot said this was a gesture of gratitude to the people of Indonesia, Malaysia and the Philippines for receiving Vietnamese refugees, when they fled persecution by the communist regime in the 1970s.
Red Cross spokeswoman Carmen Mackenzie called this donation "phenomenal".