Friday, February 24, 2006

Quote for the Day: "Seriously, if you’re going to be putting that many calories into your body shouldn’t it at least taste like a chocolate cake?"--Dooce, lamenting the sheer volume of (icky tasting) beer it takes to generate a buzz.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A group of religious zealots who've been holding anti-gay protests at military funerals appears to have met their match, a group of patriotic bikers who follow them to the funerals attempting to shield the soldiers' grieving families from the heartless fanatics.
FORT CAMPBELL, Kentucky (AP) -- Wearing vests covered in military patches, a band of motorcyclists rolls around the country from one soldier's funeral to another, cheering respectfully to overshadow jeers from church protesters.

They call themselves the Patriot Guard Riders, and they are more than 5,000 strong, forming to counter anti-gay protests held by the Rev. Fred Phelps at military funerals.

Phelps believes American deaths in Iraq are divine punishment for a country that he says harbors homosexuals. His protesters carry signs thanking God for so-called IEDs -- explosives that are a major killer of soldiers in Iraq.

The bikers shield the families of dead soldiers from the protesters, and overshadow the jeers with patriotic chants and a sea of red, white and blue flags.

"The most important thing we can do is let families know that the nation cares," said Don Woodrick, the group's Kentucky captain. "When a total stranger gets on a motorcycle in the middle of winter and drives 300 miles to hold a flag, that makes a powerful statement."
I may not be Christian, but I think it's safe to say that if you think "causing grieving families even more pain" is an acceptable answer to the ubiquitous "WWJD?" question, you need to read the Bible again.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I've been touched by His Noodly Appendage

I think it is important to inform you all that I have had a religious epiphany, and am giving up Buddhism to join the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I realize this will come as a shock to many of you, but I want to be open and honest, I do not want to hide my faith from those I care about. Why such a sudden change of heart? Overwhelming evidence that the world was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster has recently come to my attention. This evidence is concrete, and cannot be denied. I am not alone, there are currently over 10 million Flying Spaghetti Monster devotees. Most of them are very secretive, as our beliefs have been mocked as superstition and fantasy. I do believe I saw several at Val Day this past weekend, however, dressed in their pirate regalia as decreed by Him.

Many of you may not see much of me in the coming days and weeks, as I have decided to spend much of my free time spreading His word, and campaigning for the Flying Spaghetti Monster Creation theory to be taught in public schools, alongside Evolution and (where applicable) Intelligent Design. I highly encourage all of you to join me in my journey; the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is truly a welcoming and wonderful place. Why else should you join the Church of the FSM? Consider these wise words from their website...

-Flimsy moral standards.
-Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
-Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.
What more can you ask for? Please, join the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster today, and you too can be touched by His Noodly Appendage!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Quote for the Day: "All I have to say this morning is this... there should be a special Circle of Hell reserved for people who, in life, made a habit of walking away from paper-jammed photocopiers, leaving someone else to deal with the damage."--Doctor Dave

Amen Doctor. And might I add...talking in the theatre. Don't forget the people who talk in the theatre. Uncivilized bastards.